Fake First Post

Yesterday I had an appendectomy and today I decided to finally launch this new blog. I hope you enjoy it.

This is not the first posting on this new blog. I had delayed starting this blog for a long time for various stupid reasons: “I haven’t published anything yet,” “blogs are stupid,” “I’m stupid,” etc. I think only the last one is true. I had an appendectomy (surprise!) and got home from the hospital last night, and this morning I came up with a great idea for how to write the story that I’d wanted to write for a long time. I noticed a parallel between a conversation about the film Event Horizon and a line in the film itself, and how it epitomized my graduate school experience. I had wanted to write about grad school and how it didn’t work out for a long time, and this clinched it for me.

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Liberate tutame ex infernis

How I learned to stop being myself…

Over the past ten years I have gradually given up the childish dream I had of having a Ph.D. in science.  I now have a Master’s degree, but the road to not having a Ph.D. led me to realizing that my interests actually lay elsewhere.  I have embarked on a career of fiction writing, after realize that what really matters to me is clear expression of language and beautiful concepts, and telling stories.  Over the course of graduate school I sunk to denying my personality, a process that I am just getting over.  Yesterday I got my appendix taken out, and I feel those surgeons took out a whole lot of fear and conflict I was having over showing people who I really am.  For lack of a better concept, in graduate school and in the jobs I had before graduate school, I tried really hard not to be myself.  I unwittingly agreed to this when I joined the lab.

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